If you want to be the popular one at a party, here's a good thing to do: Go up to some people who are talking and laughing and say, "Well, technically that's illegal." It might fit in with what somebody just said. And even if it doesn't, so what, I hate this stupid party.
– Jack Handey
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Haha, this one's hilarious! I can actually see someone putting this into practice...and then bitterly storming out of the party after it fails. This is why you don't invite losers to your soirées.
Anybody who uses the word soiree must be gay
just kidding greg, i just like to make rhymes
I look forward to bringing this one into practice.
Is that also true about sorbet?
Now that you mention it, I do feel different when I'm enjoying a scoop.
Sorbet? Gay? The power of poetry has yet to be understood.
Well, Technically that's illegal...............Dammit! I hate this stupid blog anyway!!!
how about having some sorbet at your soiree because your gay(happy)
It's ok. I don't mind being called happy.
But sorbet? Buddy, thems fightin' words!
If you want to back the most controversial Political Candidate, here's a good thing to do: Go up to some Reporters who are talking and laughing and say, "Well, technically only Ron Paul is speaking the Truth and nowadays that's illegal." It will Not fit in with what somebody just said because No Reporter has ever heard of Ron Paul, but the Hillary bites Rudy bumper stickers they give you might be worth sumthin' someday.
I guess it was in 7th grade when I started listening to Ron Paul, George and Ringo. They spoke the truth and were illegal back then, too. Good times...
I think a good thing to do is go up to a street person and ask them for money. When they say "Man, I don't have no money", then you ask em again. Then as they start to walk away, you start to walk real fast towards em and keep asking em, "Hey Man give me some money for lunch .".... Bet that will show them who's the REAL man of the streets, even if you are a women.
You think my sister would have been greatful, I had that little Donkey Pinita made for my niece. But NO all she could harp on was how stupid I was! I mean man How was I to know that "Ariel es un asno." Meant Ariel is an Ass. I mean AT LEAST the Little Mexican exchange student felt welcomed to America didn't they?
Well, everyone knows before you can exchange a Mexican student, you have to have the original receipt... or ANY student, for that matter. I can never find my receipts, so my house is like the United Nations right now.
They should make a new kind of pop out of wheat; and they could market it to kids. Oh, wait they already have that. It's called beer.
Sylvia Carnsnack would always sneak beer out of her dad's truck when we were little. I'd pretend to drink it, but I really didn't. But Sylvia would. She'd would drink one after the other... sometimes for hours! It's a good think her dad drove a beer truck! I guess.
whose party is it?
cuz if its a room full of lawyers,
1. you're dead
2. you're wrong
3. you're about to be broke
Good Heavens, Nana, you bring back wonderful memories! My daddy always said the only good lawyer was a dead lawyer! Mama would giggle like a school girl everytime he said it! until that day some lawyer sued daddy for defamation of character and we had to move.
Someday, I'd like to meet Vera Carp.
Then I'd walk right up to her, look her right in the eye and say,"You think you're sooo clever, don't you?"
And then she'd probably respond with something that was actually very clever and I'd think, "Dammit! She actually IS clever" and the conversation would be over and I'd think, "What a shame. She's actually kinda cute". Then I'd leave.
Mr. Someguy, what delightful correspondence! I must admit, clever is a burden, but one that must be endured for the betterment of society. Cleverness was thrust upon me at a very early age, allowing me to rise above my generic suburban upbringing. However, cleverness is not self diagnosed. It is something that must be recognized by others to have its proper effect. Why, even you exhibit promising hints of cleverness, that, with time and proper nurturing, could become your gift to society!Such was the case of Mr. Handey himself, I'm sure!
Vera, I'm not one to carp, but I feel honored, insulted, tickled and degraded... all at once!
I need time to sort out my feelings.
In the meantime you just keep telling yourself that your cleverness is a gift to society and that is was thrust upon you. Did Otis Redding urge us to 'try a little cleverness'? I think not.
I'm sure that with a little maturing you'll come to see things differently.
Then you'll see what I'm saying is true and hate me for it.
Hate you?
Not on this day.
The mere fact that you bother to involve yourself in my idle musings is reward enough, Mr. Someguy Said. As for Mr. Redding, if you remember he also urged us to sit on the dock of the bay. But I'm experiencing a tremendous thunderstorm near by home right now, and to follow his advice would be pure folly, now wouldn't it?!!!
As I've cascaded down this waterfall I call life, I've discovered Mr. Maturity and Mr. Responsibilty walk hand in hand Mr. Someguy Said. We must never walk between them!
My, this is stimulating! I haven't had this much excitement since I blew a fuse with my mixer!
Vera Carp... will you marry me?
...wait, did I say that or just think it??? D'oh!
Indeed, the day may come when you will hate me. But that day is not today! Huzzaaahh!
As for our friend Mr. Redding; who is he to tell us what to do? "Try a little tenderness"... "Sit! On the the dock of the bay"...
I suspect you, Vera Carp, march to the beat of your own drummer, who follows you around all day long wherever you go.
We've gone from the Soldering Iron of Justice to the Waterfall of Life.
I would gladly sit on that dock during that thunderstorm... just to tempt, the Lightening Bolt of Fate.
And finally, yes, I agree, we must never walk between those two dudes
Mr. Responsibility and Mr. Maturity. Together, they are such a buzzkill!
Stay classy, San Diego! And stay clever, Vera Carp. Society needs you!
Vera... it's time to upgrade your electrical service if your mixer is blowing fuses!
Just trying to help.
The Decider is .... someguy.
That's very true, Mr. someguy said. But I've just decided I'll put the mixer on 220... along with my garage door opener. I only have a four cylinder, and that extra boost my door gives me in the morning, well, let me tell you! I'm half way to work before I turn the key in the ignition!
And I agree, The decider is "someguy" indeed! Proposing at this jucture? Why, I've only known you for a few paragraphs! Courtship is a delicate endeavour, Mr. the decider!
Very well then, Vera Carp.
I will bide my time and let the delicate dance of courtship play out.
....
.... how about now? now?
You haven't heard the last from Mr. Someguy aka The Decider!
I'll let you know I'm not the kind of woman that can be had for the price of a cheap cocktail or a salted peanut!
No, Mr. Someguy AKA The Decider, a gentleman does, indeed enjoy the delicate dance of courtship, or he is destined to dance it alone. And that looks terribly silly, I don't care how well your dressed.
Vera Carp,
Very well then. One last shot.
How about a dry martini and a lightly salted hazelnut?
Nothing too good for my heiress.
You are much too kind.
Very little vermouth. Vermouth is my weakness, and I have yet to succumb to it's powers...
You are an enigma vera carp.
How can something you've never succumbed to be your weakness?
Have a drink with me...
It is like looking into the eyes of a wild tiger. You shall never touch it, yet you internally know it's strength... something I'm afraid my 5th grade teacher Mrs. Chacha Nomoor never understood. After that disasterous African safari, she spent her remaining days at the blackboard holding the chalk in her teeth. Mathematical equations were rendered useless at that point, as she'd lose consciousness before reaching the solution.
It was pitiful to watch.
You are truly... gifted.
I'm LOL-ing!
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