If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing, I'd glance over the treaty and then suddenly act surprised. "Wait a minute! I thought we won!"
– Jack Handey
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Friday, October 26, 2007
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18 comments:
Sometimes, when I'm feeling sad and alone, I'll rent a van and buy lots of colorful balloons, and pretend I'm the prize vans for one of those sweepstakes. The look on their faces as I present them with a pretend million dollar check just makes my day. I mean, how can you be depressed after that?
Yeah, pretending is fun. Especially when its about balloons and stuff.
You bet, mss said! (Don't you find it odd that we all have the same last name?)
Odd indeed...and what a strange last name too, "said", it must be Dutch.
ROFL
ROFL
jack handey would never say any of these things
True.
Jack seldom utters a word. It is through his unique abilty of telepathy that Mr. Handey shares his sage thoughts. The voice on television is not Mr. Handey's actual voice, but that of his assistant, Cravacious Jones, who receives the mental messages and scribbles them on the back of discarded chinese menus. This is common knowledge, but, of course, bears repeating.
!!!
Well, apparently, My, it is. (and that's ok.)
I couldn't have said it better.
really... let it be.
knock you out!
enough!
,she said
...than dead.
"somebody stop me!"
Fred
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